Today

Today was a rather tough day for me personally. The morning was going smoothly, and it was time for me to take a fast shower. My two boys, E and D, were playing nicely together. After a 15-20 minute shower, E entered my room and fell on my bed. He was crying and hyperventilating. When I got him to calm down, he explained to me what D had done. Meanwhile, D entered my room and started screaming over E. What I gathered was that E decided he was done playing with the toys he and D had been playing with when I went to shower. Now, these are E's toys; he even paid for them with his own money. D asked if he could continue playing with them. (To be fair, E usually would say 'yes' here, but D has destroyed some of E's toys or lost them). Obviously, E said 'no'. What happened after was just a mess. D started screaming at him, calling him names, and saying some horrible things to him, like: "I wish you'd never been born", "you're the worst brother I ever had", or "I wish you died in the surgery". He then proceeded to pick up a wood sword and strike E with it repeatedly. E, in turn, took the sword out of D's hands, giving him a slight scrape. I asked D if this was all true. He said it was, but all of it was E's fault because E had started it by saying 'no'. D's exact words were that he was 'exacting revenge'. I tried to talk to D about how wrong his behavior was, and he began demanding that I punish E for 'hurting' him when he took the sword out of D's hands. I tried to explain that D's injury would not have happened had D not been hitting E with the sword to begin with. But, D just started screaming that this proves that I love E more and that I hate him. I tried to reason with him, but of course, there wasn't much I could do. He was beside himself with rage. Tomorrow is our first Psychology appointment. The first one is just for my husband and I to discuss things that have been happening. Next week, they will meet and examine D. I pray that this series of appointments can give us some answers.