After the Diagnosis

Let me just begin by naming my boys, as this is getting confusing for me! :) My son that had surgery is named E (for the sake of this blog), and my son recently diagnosed is named D (for the sake of this blog.) After the initial diagnosis, D would go to his room for about an hour every day and cry. I would try to comfort him, but he would beg me to leave him alone, so I did. So very heartbreaking. After the first week or so, his sadness turned to anger. He began by screaming. Pretty much whenever he didn't get his way. And, these screams could last for HOURS! We tried to talk to him and to discipline him, and he would just get more aggressive with the screams. He did that for about a week or so. Then, he escalated to throwing things. Little things. He didn't give up screaming either. He would pick up pens, pencils, shoes, clothing, etc. and pitch them across the room. At first, I was shocked and didn't know what to do. I would get angry, which he was able to match easily. I would send him to his room, and I would clean up his mess. Then, I realized that I should make him do it. So, I would watch him throw things and calmly tell him that when he was done, he was going to have to clean them up. It was so painful to step over these items until he was done throwing a fit. Bear in mind, he couldn't do anything else (like play video games, play outside, watch tv, etc.) until he cleaned up his mess. He always would, but it would usually be a few hours after he created the mess. After a week or so of that, he began pushing over furniture! He would push over kitchen chairs, living room chairs, a side table, etc. Physically, I was no match for him. With the adrenaline pumping through him, I actually would get hurt stepping in. During this time, he also blamed his brother, E, for "bringing Chiari into our family". So, he would 'attack him'. He would try to hit, push, kick, etc. I would definitely engage then, usually resulting in an injury. At this point, I called the pediatrician for help. I sobbed while on the phone with her about what was happening in my home. And, I didn't hold back; I told her everything you just read here. She said to bring him in in two days, and she would discuss anger control issues with him. Yeah, help...finally!! But, the following day, her nurse called me and told me that since D had a "documented, diagnosed brain condition, there was no need to bring him in because there was nothing they could do until neurosurgery cleared him." I was shocked and started crying on the phone and asked her to explain. She said that it wasn't like D was "homicidal or suicidal", so it really wasn't that bad. I told her that at times D would say that he wished he was dead, and the nurse told me that that wasn't suicidal. I hung up, sat on the floor, and cried. D's appointment with neurosurgery wasn't until May 22, so I prepared for my next two months with my angry, aggressive child.